How to Keep Your “Cool” When Dealing With Your Teenage Daughter/s During Puberty.

The fun and joy of having teenagers.

Judith Uusi-Hakimo


Photo by Monstera from Pexels

Last Christmas, one of the presents I got from my 14-year-old daughter was a journal called Calm the F**K Downby Sarah Knight. It is a journal based on the author’s book about anxiety.

Upon opening the gift, two beautiful big brown eyes were staring at me, excitedly waiting for my reaction. I smiled and laughed a little. I can’t remember exactly how I reacted when I opened the present, but I thanked my daughter for the lovely gift. She told me to use the journal straight away.

The cover was funny and captivating, and the author’s messages on every page got my attention — short positive writings about staying calm and relaxed when faced with adversities. I realized why my daughter gifted me the journal — to help calm me down.

The journal makes sense because I worry so much about her well-being, especially now that she is in puberty. I worry about who she hangs out with and who she chats with online. I repetitively told her that she shouldn’t stay out late, must not talk to strangers, be careful with boys, and text me what time she is catching the train or bus home, where her whereabouts, and so on.

But the responses I often get are “Yeah! Yeah!” “Whatever!” or the forbidden “F” word she uses when angry. Sometimes, I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. Honestly, I don’t remember being this rude to my parents when I was a teenager.

Let’s face it, the reality of having a teenage daughter can sometimes turn your life upside down, inside out and back to front. Daughters are gifts from God, but your once peaceful life can turn into a few years of stress and worry when puberty strikes.

Your teenage daughter goes through many mental and physical changes during adolescencee and puberty. These changes can make them very emotional, moody, rude, anxious, opinionated, happy one day and sad the next, easily angered, and have self-esteem issues due to body image concerns.

However complex and challenging these years might be, there are strategies that you can follow to keep your relationship with your teenager less dramatic and troublesome.



Judith Uusi-Hakimo

A Nurse by profession. A mother of three and a wife of one. A storyteller and an aspiring writer.